№6 “Ataraxia” (Freedom from Distress and Worry) 2024

Ataraxia is a lucid state of robust equanimity characterized by ongoing freedom from distress and worry.

I was reading about the philosophy of Epicureanism at the time and got really inspired. It is a form of hedonism, as far as it declares pleasure to be its sole intrinsic goal. However, in contrast to short sighted pleasure driven hedonism, Epicurus believed that the highest pleasure came from Ataraxia.

How to illustrate the concept of Ataraxia?

Well, this time it was to be mostly about the facial expression. I wanted the viewer to be able see ataraxia in her eyes. I sketched the expression with a pencil a few times and did the colors separately before combining both of them in photoshop. The colors came easily and spontaneously, and the whole process flowed quite nicely. No worries, no performance anxiety – a fitting process for a drawing about ataraxia.

Pencil and markers on paper, 10x16cm.

“Ataraxia” (Freedom from Distress and Worry) 2024

“Ataraxia” (Freedom from Distress and Worry) 2024 - process. The model in the reference photograph is Diane Webber (1956).

№5 “Non Tu Insanis - Vita Insanis” (You are not crazy - Life is crazy) 2024

This one was inspired by a conversation about coping with the world around us and life in general.

Sometimes things in life get to be a bit too much, and at those moments it is good to slow down and enjoy a moment of solitude, just soaking in the natural world and leave the crazyness behind.

It was a fun and effortless experience.

I found such a great photograph for reference that drawing this thing was a breeze. The only thing i didn’t like was the two-pole setup. It looked like something or someone was missing from the picture and I wanted the mood to be more balanced and serene, so I moved the subjet to the middle and added a pole.

Pencil and markers on paper, 11x18cm.

“Non Tu Insanis - Vita Insanis” (You are not crazy - Life is crazy) 2024

“Non Tu Insanis - Vita Insanis” (You are not crazy - Life is crazy) 2024 - process

№4 “Arbiter mundi” (Ruler of the world) 2023

This one was inspired by something I heard someone say one day. (paraphrasing)

“No matter the undertaking, the only true motivation for a man is a woman. No matter how mundane or how lofty the goals are - it all boils down to the desire to attract a woman.”

So, you might say that women make the world go round, in many ways. Therefore, I went for “Ruler of the world” and a femme fatale type of subject to represent the true muse. The miniature format I had been doing would not allow the amount of detail I wanted for this one, so I went for a bigger size than usual (30x21cm).

Most of the picture was fun and reasonably quick to draw, but then I got stuck.

I started making lots of different versions, with ink lines and without, red hair, blue hair, plane background, no background, psychedelic background etc. Like half a year later I finally just stacked a bunch of versions in Photoshop and made a print. And it turned out just fine, even though I had set out not to involve computers in the process.

I had to revise my mission statement.

Hand drawn yes mainly, but photoshop is ok if it brings something to the project. Always draw to enjoy the process, and to impress women apparently…

“Arbiter mundi” (Ruler of the world) 2023

“Arbiter mundi” (Ruler of the world) 2023 - process

№3 "Delectant Mea" (They delight me) 2022

This one was a stydy in depth, light and shadow.

The name comes from “Te tua, me delectant mea” which translates to “You are charmed with yours, I with mine” and is a nod to the themes I described in №0 "The Lost Joy of Drawing" 2020-2021.

“He was in fact we hear an enthusiastic musician, a tragic poet too—how good, matters little; for in this art, more than in others, it somehow happens that everyone finds his own work excellent; so far I have never known the poet who did not think himself the best; this is the way with them—“You are charmed with your work, I with mine”. Cicero, Tusculan Disputations

I wanted to change up the style a bit with stronger colors and higher contrast.

Tried to bring out the shape more with the markers and less with the pencils. And, I do like how the light effect turned out, as I really wanted to convey the brightness and the warmth of the sun against skin.

"Delectant-Mea" (They delight me) 2022

"Delectant-Mea" (They delight me) 2022 - process

№2 “Sicut Cervus” (Like a deer) 2022

So, this one was inspired by a motet / psalm by Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina from the year 1604.

"Sicut cervus desiderat ad fontes aquarum"
As the deer desires the fountain’s water
"Sitivit anima mea, desiderat anima mea ad te"
My soul thirsts, my soul longs for you.

I found it quite intriguing, an expression of deep longing and devotion. Something animistic or mystic maybe… and I also wanted to draw a nude, so I started looking for a reference picture and found one where a woman is holding a skull of a deer.

I think a dead deer makes the longing even more elevated, eternal yet fleeting, and maybe futile…

All this in combination with the psalm, made me want to frame the subject in a somewhat Art Nuveau style setting that creates a mystic, nature goddess like vibe.

This time I made several photocopies of the line drawing, so I could try out different colors for the background (as you can see below). The one I originally chose was a bit odd, with the pink and apple green, so I made a toned down re-coloration. (2025)

I also experimented with watercolor overlay and more texturized leaves, but ended up using just a pencil and Promarker markers on printing paper, just like last time. The size is 12x19cm.

“Sicut Cervus” (Like a deer) 2022

“Sicut Cervus” (Like a deer) 2022 – process

№1 "Formosam Forma Puellam" (Beautiful female form) 2022

It had to be something reasonably quick and dirty.

It was the first new hand drawn thing I’ve made since the early 2000s. So it means more than meets the eye. A curse had been broken and I was drawing again.

The picture was inspired by late 60s pinup photography, more specifically by model, dancer and an actress Michelle Angelo. I wanted to depict a beautiful female form from several angles at once, so the photograph i used for reference fit the bill nicely.

I used an HB pencil and Windsor & Newton Promarker markers on normal printing paper. I was new to this technique, but I love how it turned out. The size is 11x14cm, so it fits nicely in my A6 notebook. The process was simple; lines, subject, background.

"Formosam Forma Puellam" (Beautiful female form) 2022

"Formosam Forma Puellam" (Beautiful female form) 2022 – process

№0 "The Lost Joy of Drawing" 2020-2021

So, I gradually lost the joy of drawing by hand, starting about twenty years ago.

I really enjoyed drawing as a teenager and ended up going to art school where it became an important part of my identity. But as I grew older, I realized that I was not nearly productive enough (or good enough) to make a living as an artist. So, I drifted towards a more practical use of my visual skills, ending up in graphic design, advertising and web design, which became my profession for a number of successful years.

Then came the burnout.

It was around 2013 when I had to take a break from it all. I had also developed a deep hatred for UI-graphics and computer-generated imagery. But after the money ran out, I ended up founding an advertisement agency anyway. Doing commercial marketing graphics again took the last joy out of drawing.

After the advertisement agency thing turned out to be unsustainable, I figured I would do cold hard digital services for a living and draw only for myself, from here on. Or so I thought… It turned out to be really hard getting started with my own art projects.

The visual design part kept popping up at work too, not in a bad way this time. A bit of visual design went nicely with service design in the field of social welfare.

Getting back on the horse

So, I started with a coloring book just to get the feel of holding a pen / marker in my hand again. I was weird, it felt stupid, but it helped. After a few pages I had to do something slightly more me. And, as luck would have it, I had a drawer full of twenty-year-old little black and white drawings.

I started coloring my old drawings, and that took me on an immersive journey through the years back to the time and thoughts I had when I last really enjoyed drawing.

 

Letting go in order to move on

As much as I liked coloring old doodles, it did not give me anything new. It only reminded me of things that had been forgotten. The real brake through came at a random meeting at work. I spontaneously introduced myself as a FORMER graphic designer. And just like that, I was free. The pressure and guilt of not being a good enough artist/designer was gone. I suddenly realized that it was no longer a part of my identity, nor was I dependent on being a productive artist.

from my Instagram “I Still Work”

From here on out

Nowadays I try to focus on the process, not the outcome. I like exploring and experimenting, leaving room for mistakes and spontaneity. I set small achievable goals, and find inspiration and ideas all around me in my normal life. I have only recently started sharing some of my pictures. I had to be careful not to aim to please others, as it may affect the process and ruin the joy.

So, now I decided to start this blog for the hows-and-whys. A bit about the process and technique, as well as the reasoning behind the pictures and some reflections about the ongoing journey.

It is time to share the joy.

Enjoy!